La Abuelita (The Grandmother)

(A magic encounter, Lima – 28/06/2018)

They say that you don’t find her. She finds you. And she comes to you when you are ready.

I started to hear about her at the same time than the idea of the need of a sabbatical break (and trip) was brewing. Initially was like the exotic story you hear from someone when you are drunk. The kind of conversations you have when you are intoxicated.

She only can be found in South America. At least, the real deal. The Amazonian Jungle is where she’s from. As my trip proposal and plans were slowly pointing myself towards South America, references about her started to appear as well. Was that a signal? I didn’t know. It could be that during my trip she could be meters away from me and we would never meet.

She has to come to you. She finds you. That is the way she always work.

So I kept my mind open. With the understanding that when the moment comes, I would not have to bend backwards to find her. She will just cross my path.

But she kept me sending subliminal messages since I entered the Latin America. From time to time, she sent me a messenger just to tell me ‘I am around’. So I was optimistic about the possibility of meeting up.

If there is a country where she feels comfortable, that is Peru. One of the spiritual vortexes of the world, Peru is the place for mysticism and transcendence. So when I reached Peru, despite I knew she had to find me, I could not help to be, let’s say, extra alert.

She chose the perfect time and place to send the messenger announcing her arrival. Once I arrived to Cuzco, just to meet me after visiting Machu Picchu. The channel she chose to send the messenger was Grinder. What a twist. The least spiritual platform on earth became the platform for enlightenment.

-‘ She is playful ‘ – I thought when I could analyse the whole thing retrospectively.

Someone from Cusco wrote me a message when I was in Arequipa. His name was Victor. It wasn’t clear how would meet and for which purpose. But turned out we ended up having a coffee 30min after I arrived to Cusco city centre. We had that coffee and we never met again (although the initial plan was to properly meet up). During our brief coffee, we spoke (among other things) about Cusco and its mysticism.

I asked Victor if she had met her. His answer was yes. And that he knew who could put me in contact with her. She is the caring grandmother of us. And if you have not worked out who she is by now, her name is Ayahuasca.

From that moment, I knew I would meet her. Victor passed me the details of a shaman he knew. I immediately messaged him. And despite the shaman did not reply my initial message, I began my preparation.

The nickname of La Abuela is not my make. Local people and shamans refer to San Pedro (the herb) as el Abuelo and Ayahuasca as La Abuela. Both take care of the humans, but do have a different personality.

Ayahuasca is not to be taken lightly. Neither to be embraced without a preparation. It has to be done only through a Shaman. And you have to prepare yourself physically and spiritually.

You need to detox your body and spirit. For at least one week, you will have to diet. Not to eat dead animals, specially meat. No coffee, no alcohol, no cigarettes. And no sex (you cannot masturbate yourself either). Your body is the temple where you will receive her, and you will need to be as pure as possible. As well, praying and meditating during that preparation time is helpful.

Under those conditions I did the Salkantay Trek (4 days trek in the mountain, ending in Machu Picchu). At my return to Cusco, the shaman replied to me. He was in Lima during those days and not in Cusco.

I could not come to terms why she would choose Lima for our encounter, but that was the way things worked out. So I booked a ticket to Lima.

At this point of the story, I started to feel a bit of anxiety. I did not take her lightly. And I knew that, although is a healing journey, is not necessarily a pleasant one. That respect I had for her along with the fact that we were going to meet in the middle of an urban jungle, instead of being in the middle of nature one, was a key factor to understand what came next.

Two things the shaman asked me to do in preparation for the ceremony. Number one, to wear clothes as white as possible. And number two, to do a preparation/forgiving prayer for my ancestors, my parents and myself prior the day of the ceremony.

The forgiving prayer was an interesting experience. I did it the night before the ceremony and lasted for almost one hour. During that time I was thinking about my ancestors and my parents, although the energy shifted towards my parents, my brothers and uncles/aunties.

I cried during that prayer. For some reason, I could see them under a different light. I became more aware of the history behind them and the pain each of them was carrying in life. And I felt compassion. And I cried.

Next morning I went to Lima. And couple of hours after I arrived to Lima and checked-in, I was on my way to the ceremony. It took me more than 1 hour in a traffic jam to get to the place. That was not good start. You need to put things in perspective. Here I am, about to have a life changing experience. To be done alone, just me and the shaman, in a quite run down house in a proletarian suburb of Lima. That was quite intimidating.

But that was the way she came to me. So I was committed to just do it.

The shaman took me to the room and prepared both himself and myself for it. Blankets, cushions and empty bucket for each of us. And there she was. Right front of me. My anxiety peaked. But there was no way back.

The journey that came after taking her was unconventional. And, like everytime we are extremely alert about something, it worked in an unexpected way. The best way to describe it is like when you are waiting to get somewhere and you set yourself in a waiting mode, just to realise at some point that you are there. You got there without noticing.

As I previously disclosed my fears to the shaman, he was conservative about dosage. The idea was to have first journey not too wild. And that was going to be the case, although I didn’t know it at that time.

In the journey, you go through different sensorial phases. There is a sound phase, where the smallest resonance vibrates inside of you with no fading. There is a geometrical phase, where alive geometries take shape inside your brain. And from there you go to organic phase.

It is an interesting journey. You get out of reality as same time part of you remains within. Your brain drifts in and out of it. And I was conscious of the whole thing and therefore, bit scared. I didn’t know where the journey would take me.

I remember a part of me wanting to stand up and go, although I was unable to move. I never had crazy visions nor too strong or frightening. It was neither the thing I imagined. The gate of the universe did not open front of me. For that, you will probably need to let go more and trip much further. The journey just went as far as I was ready to go. She was gentle with me.

The visions were right front of my eyes but at some point stabilsied. Normally that is the moment you are given a second dose. But neither the shaman offered it, neither myself was keen to do it. Probably the shaman felt it. So at that point, when I knew that nothing bad would happen to me, I started to relax and embrace it.

Ironically, at the point of embracing it was the point where a plateau was reached. And from that moment, the sensations and visions started to slowly gradually further themselves from me. The vision of animals (especially cats) crossed my mind. That along with the idea that she was doing her work in a different way I had expected. At the end of the day, that is always the way lessons come to you.

So I relaxed. Took the experience as it was. And enjoyed myself in the gentle journey of touching down.

Almost five hours after the start, I finally touched down. Didn’t throw up. Wasn’t feeling weird or bad. Just clear. And with the conviction that she did her work in a subtle way. Isn’t that the way our grandmothers taught us lessons?

The experience needs to be taken as a whole. Not only what occurred at the ceremony, but what I learnt during the preparation was also part of it. Other people also told me the same. Other people’s first experiences were similar. It is, in a way, like your first sexual experience. Rarely deploys itself to the full. And your expectations about it always exceed the reality of it. Good thing this time is that it was not traumatic. Despite my initial fear, it was pleasant.

Although I was offered the possibility of staying there overnight, I preferred to skip the morning horrendous traffic. I booked a cab to get to where my accommodation was.

When I arrived to the hostel, something odd happened. The in-house cats (who barely saw me) came to me as if I was a magnet. They were rubbing themselves against me for 40 min. And I stayed in that state with them in the darkness of the living room.

As I went to my room, one of the cats followed me. I laid in the bed and the cat sat front of my face, looking at me. The cat did not want to be petted or touched. Just to stay still front of my eyes. Like a guarding agent. As if the cat felt a special energy or vibration. And just like that, I felt asleep.

Six hours later, I opened the eyes and found the cat’s eyes facing me. I naturally woke up. The cat did not do anything to wake me up. I released the cat and the memory of my dream came to my head.

I could not tell exactly what my dream during my sleep was. But there was this feeling in the dream of being humble. Not in reprimanding way. My dream was showing me a path of humility and gratitude.

The final message that the Abuelita left me with. Until we meet again.